soooooooooooooooooo....I was blow drying my hair upstairs and no one was home except for my dad, and I don't know what he was doing, maybe just getting ready for the day? It was probably like 10am on a weekday before I had classes. My dog, Kona started barking a lot, so I just figured someone was at the door and my dad would get it. I kept blow drying my hair. I heard my dad make some kind of bizarre exclamation and some commotion. He was saying, "Dad!?"... So I thought my grandpa was here and I stopped blow drying my hair to see what was happening. There was some strange man in the house, and he didn't feel well. My dad started to put him to bed, in his bed??? but he kept getting up. Then he went and laid in my sister, Zhanna's bed for awhile.
My dad recognized him as the neighbor a few houses down who had alzheimer's. He told me that he was really lucky he didn't shoot him, cuz [my dad] was really close to grabbing his gun, when he saw a strangers legs downstairs. He thought it might be his dad (my grandpa) before he saw his face, just because of the way he was dressed.
Old alzheimer man wouldn't sit still, and kept calling me, "Mickey". He decided he was hungry and wanted lunch. He got out some bread and the knives and started pouring milk on his bread. The knives kinda freaked my dad out. My dad kept trying to tell him that he lived a few houses down and that he was in the wrong house, but he wouldn't listen.
Finally, my dad called the police because he wouldn't leave and was really upset and lost and we didn't know what to do with him and kept sleeping in peoples' beds and making milk sandwiches with all the knives.
So then the cops came, and brought his wife "Mickey" (ooh), but he couldn't find his jacket. So we started looking all over the house for his jacket, and then we found it in my sister's closet. He had taken it off before he took a nap in her bad. lol, and wtf, I know it's sad, but it was totally ridiculous and scary too. My dad almost shot him. I guess he got in through the side gate, and then in through the garage door, and then into the door that leads from the garage to the kitchen!!??? He also tracked mad mud into the house, which the pops was also not happy about hahah.
9/13/2009
TO PHILLIP!
Upon my return to the states from the European nation, my method of travel was primarily by train to get to the airport in Frankfurt, Germany. This was a very nice, fast train, that for 3 hours (3 hours and 20 minutes for this ride), seemed to really have no rules.
As we were getting on the train a group of guys, probably all around the age of 28, that just got back from a soccer game, were right behind us getting on the same cart. Not only did they have mugs filled with beer, but they were carrying a very cute mini-keg with them that they continued pouring into their huge mugs even as we were stepping off the track. Of course they sit right behind my mom and I, and not knowing a single spat of German, I just translated everything they were saying into drunken gibberish, which in the end, it probably was. There was a nice array of people on the train, and sitting next to us/ in front of the drunk men, was 3 nice little German business men typing away on their laptops minding their own business and probably thinking about how much money they have. NOW this is where it all gets sandwiched together.......one of the drunken baboons (the most drunk out of all of them) starts walking up and down the aisles saying hello to everyone and offering beer from the mini-keg. My mom says no, and as do i because really, i just didnt want him to pour mini keg all over me on a train that wasnt going to stop for 3 hours. He accepts my rejection and moves on to the businessmen. They also deny the beer, but instead of accepting their choice the drunk guy starts snoopin' on their laptops and looking and what this one business man is typing and working on and asking questions and saying german things and CLASP! the laptop gets slammed shut and loud German words are being thrown back and forth. A fellow business man helps his colleuge in telling the drunk guy to go away, and im guessing to mind his own beeeeeezwax. The drunk guy isnt having it so he puts the mini keg down and starts yelling even louder. His friends are saying somehting to him as the argument is really starting to escalate. Finally a man in a navy blue suit comes through the sliding doors, he looks official. Again, in German, he is trying to control the situation. The drunk guy is making hand gestures and facial expressions that only a drunk person would make after getting in trouble for his drunken actions. The situation dies down after the official leaves. The drunk guys drunk friends leave him as they go somewhere else on the train. I turn around and the drunk guy is passed out; oh, but not for long!
you know when you pass out from a drunken experience and open your eyes to see you are all alone, your friends left you, and you need to find them. thats exactly what this guy did. he got up quickly, went through the sliding doors and didnt come back. aaaah peace and quiet.
2 hours later, the train is stopped at the Frankfurt station for the city, we needed the airport so we had one more stop to go. we see and official train person come back to where the drunk guys were sitting and retrieving their artifacts that they have left aka their beer mugs and mini keg. the guys come to the back and again with the german words being thrown about loudly they get their stuff back. but where is the drunken baboon? the train hasn't left yet for some odd reason and people are checking their watches and cell phones and calling people....and then my moms cell phone rings: its my dad. He calls with worry asking why the train was stopped by the police? ( i guess this information was on the internet) and my mom and i look confused, maybe something happened on the other carts and just as we were saying these words we see a police officer come onto our cart and the drunk baboon come through the sliding doors. the official gives him his duffle bag and is basically throwing him off the train. wtf??? are you kidding me??? what did this guy do to get kicked off a train!?!? i was more that curious. He put up a fight and was arguing with the police officer, the baboons friends tried to help but really couldnt do anything. the police man escorted him off the train and about 5 minutes later we were on our way to the airport. as the train was making its way to Frankfurt international airport, i was easdropping (would it be easdropping if i dont even know german?) on the drunk guys talking and laughing about the whole situation. ok, i DO know one word in German and thats Shizta (or something) which translates into SHIT. there was a lot of that word being said, but finally....as i heard beer being filled into their mugs, they all clink their glasses and say "u Phillip"!!!! The train stopped and we got off, and i just couldnt stop laughing.
As we were getting on the train a group of guys, probably all around the age of 28, that just got back from a soccer game, were right behind us getting on the same cart. Not only did they have mugs filled with beer, but they were carrying a very cute mini-keg with them that they continued pouring into their huge mugs even as we were stepping off the track. Of course they sit right behind my mom and I, and not knowing a single spat of German, I just translated everything they were saying into drunken gibberish, which in the end, it probably was. There was a nice array of people on the train, and sitting next to us/ in front of the drunk men, was 3 nice little German business men typing away on their laptops minding their own business and probably thinking about how much money they have. NOW this is where it all gets sandwiched together.......one of the drunken baboons (the most drunk out of all of them) starts walking up and down the aisles saying hello to everyone and offering beer from the mini-keg. My mom says no, and as do i because really, i just didnt want him to pour mini keg all over me on a train that wasnt going to stop for 3 hours. He accepts my rejection and moves on to the businessmen. They also deny the beer, but instead of accepting their choice the drunk guy starts snoopin' on their laptops and looking and what this one business man is typing and working on and asking questions and saying german things and CLASP! the laptop gets slammed shut and loud German words are being thrown back and forth. A fellow business man helps his colleuge in telling the drunk guy to go away, and im guessing to mind his own beeeeeezwax. The drunk guy isnt having it so he puts the mini keg down and starts yelling even louder. His friends are saying somehting to him as the argument is really starting to escalate. Finally a man in a navy blue suit comes through the sliding doors, he looks official. Again, in German, he is trying to control the situation. The drunk guy is making hand gestures and facial expressions that only a drunk person would make after getting in trouble for his drunken actions. The situation dies down after the official leaves. The drunk guys drunk friends leave him as they go somewhere else on the train. I turn around and the drunk guy is passed out; oh, but not for long!
you know when you pass out from a drunken experience and open your eyes to see you are all alone, your friends left you, and you need to find them. thats exactly what this guy did. he got up quickly, went through the sliding doors and didnt come back. aaaah peace and quiet.
2 hours later, the train is stopped at the Frankfurt station for the city, we needed the airport so we had one more stop to go. we see and official train person come back to where the drunk guys were sitting and retrieving their artifacts that they have left aka their beer mugs and mini keg. the guys come to the back and again with the german words being thrown about loudly they get their stuff back. but where is the drunken baboon? the train hasn't left yet for some odd reason and people are checking their watches and cell phones and calling people....and then my moms cell phone rings: its my dad. He calls with worry asking why the train was stopped by the police? ( i guess this information was on the internet) and my mom and i look confused, maybe something happened on the other carts and just as we were saying these words we see a police officer come onto our cart and the drunk baboon come through the sliding doors. the official gives him his duffle bag and is basically throwing him off the train. wtf??? are you kidding me??? what did this guy do to get kicked off a train!?!? i was more that curious. He put up a fight and was arguing with the police officer, the baboons friends tried to help but really couldnt do anything. the police man escorted him off the train and about 5 minutes later we were on our way to the airport. as the train was making its way to Frankfurt international airport, i was easdropping (would it be easdropping if i dont even know german?) on the drunk guys talking and laughing about the whole situation. ok, i DO know one word in German and thats Shizta (or something) which translates into SHIT. there was a lot of that word being said, but finally....as i heard beer being filled into their mugs, they all clink their glasses and say "u Phillip"!!!! The train stopped and we got off, and i just couldnt stop laughing.
8/23/2009
overpriced beer
went to carabar last night to watch nick tolford and company. we weren't staying for long, and yet i insisted on getting a beer. $6 credit card minimum, so i asked for their most expensive beer (i was drunk). i got a $4 beer. it was gross. i didn't finish it, and i had to tip $2 to make the minimum. A SIX DOLLAR BEER!!! it wasn't good and i didn't finish it. uuuggghh, WTF?!?
also, aaron shaver took a swim in the olentangy river a couple nights ago. this isn't my story. but i wish it was, because there is so much more to it and it so deserves to be up here.
also, aaron shaver took a swim in the olentangy river a couple nights ago. this isn't my story. but i wish it was, because there is so much more to it and it so deserves to be up here.
8/18/2009
I have a huge walking stick
Today as I was waiting for the bus after class to take me back to the west campus lot a strange bedraggled, creepy looking man walked out of Schoenbaum with a HUGE walking stick/possible table leg. I say table leg in the fact that it looked exactly like a table leg that he ripped off and now used for some sort of walking device.
I noticed that he had a cigarette in his hand and that he was searching for a light of some sort.
When the first person he asked didn't have matches or a lighter he immediately turned around to face the brick facade of the building and began furiously rubbing his walking stick/table leg against the building in hopes of creating friction and sparking a light.
This is not possible for very obvious reasons.
He continues to do this for a while until he gives up.
He then asks another person for a lighter....to which they happily oblige.
Man goes on his way.
WHY.
7/29/2009
i was attacked on summit by an egg
it was like midnight...maybe? and marina and i were driving down summit and we were deep in conversation and then out of no where an egg hit us!!!!!! then i screamed bloody murder and marina used her windshield wipers...something that looked like a doobie flew into the car, but luckily the egg missed me entirely. it put a little nick in Marina's windshield, but it was all ok once we got to Parson's avenue and we wiped her car down with some baby wipes.
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